Morphine: 'This is great'

I picked up a guy at an ER dept of a large hospital. Typically these are foul smelling derelicts going to homeless shelters. Often they have hospital vouchers in lieu of cash.

The guy I picked up tonight was "regular", meaning he was washed, articulate, and he had no voucher. I asked what he was in for, and he said he was in excruciating pain for the last 24 hours and finally had to go to the ER. An X-ray and CAT scan picked up a large kidney stone.

"They gave me some morphine," he said. He asked if I'd ever been on it, and I said I hadn't. "I can see why people get addicted to drugs," he said. "This is great."

A few interesting fares tonight

Two sailors who graduated BUDS training today. The training isn't quite as intense as SEALs, but it's a big accomplishment nonetheless. I congratulated them. They went from a South Bay suburb all the way to the Sand Bar in the Mission Beach neighborhood; $40 after tip. I should have comped them as a way of saying "thank you." From now on, any new graduate of SEAL, SEARs, or BUDS gets a free ride.

Married couple in their 40s from a fairly nice Italian restaurant in Little Italy (our Little Italy is nothing compared to NYC or San Fran, but it is nice). They admitted to having a bottle of wine with dinner straightaway. They were from Tennessee, and spoke with a sharp Southern drawl. The guy told woman jokes all the way to their hotel, and the wife laughed at all of them.

"If we weren't fucking them, it would be open season on them."

I enjoy a good female joke as much as the next guy, but I failed to see any humor in that one. I told my favorite, which they enjoyed: "Have you heard that Japanese engineers have made a camera with a shutter fast enough to photograph a woman with her mouth shut?"

Another Southern couple, this time from North Carolina. I asked if they had spotted any NASCAR drivers in the area, and they said they used to live in the same building as Brian Vickers (Condos?). Vickers used to drive for Hendrick, and is now the top-ranked Toyota driver. They said he was a very nice guy.

I mentioned that I once drove a couple from North Carolina who used to live next door to Tony Stewart. They reported that Stewart was just as much of an ass in person as he is on the race track.

Each was a big fan of auto racing. She likes Harvick and the 29 team, and he likes Jeff Gordon, team 24. Since I'm a Gordon fan, we made fun of Harvick for most of the trip -- good natured, not mean.

The rock pile

I picked up a drunk guy in a suit who was in San Diego for a business conference. He was going from a suburban Olive Garden restaurant to the Hyatt Grand Manchester on Harbor Drive. Traffic on I5 was light, but downtown was a different story. It was getting busy with people looking for a good time on a Friday night.

We were stuck in a line of traffic when, out of the blue, he told me his marriage is good, but he constantly cheats on his wife. He seemed to feel genuinely bad. "I can't control myself," he said. "I'd fuck a rock pile if I thought a woman was underneath it."

The Plank

The beachside bar in Imperial Beach, The Plank, is a popular destination from places in and around downtown San Diego. I found a guy curbside who had missed his bus, heading for The Plank. I asked him if he was Navy, and he had been until a few years ago. He said he liked the experience for the discipline it taught him, but didn't care for the hours, low pay, and lack of freedom.

He said his only gripe with life right now was that he was in his upper 20s and wasn't married with children. I suggested he might find his future bride at The Plank tonight. He laughed. "I hope not." We got a good chuckle at the poor endorsement for the bar.

Twenty-five bucks lighter, he's at The Plank now. Maybe he will find his bride to be.