The dead pool on Marzetti II was handily won by the driver who guessed Jan. 15, 2008. We hadn't received a call from the old guy since Jan. 14 or so, and that was the source of much speculation. The guy who chose 1/15 was particularly eager to find out the news, so he went to the guy's favorite restaurant and learned he was dead. Then the driver went to the guy's condo complex and asked the doorman, just for good measure, and confirmed. A previous post on Marzetti II is here.
The book's dates, in the order I recorded them:
1/15/08
2/28/08
4/20/08
2/2/09
11/15/08
12/16/11 (this guy was ridiculed)
It cost $5 to enter, so the winner received the $30 kitty.
Next up: Gollum. She's a cantankerous old woman who not only resembles Gollum in appearance and voice, but seems to hate everything and everyone. At least Gollum liked something -- a ring. She walks at .00000001 mile per hour, and it takes her what seems like five minutes to make an entry to or exit from a taxicab. Despite that, she seems to be in better health than the deceased Marzetti II. A previous post on Gollum is here.
Dates for the pool on Gollum:
3/1/09
6/1/08
11/20/08
12/24/10
6/29/08
12/16/17 (same guy who picked 2011 for Marzetti)
6/15/12
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query gollum. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query gollum. Sort by date Show all posts
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Sunday, June 10, 2007
The mother lode
Tonight was a cabbie's dream. It was roaring busy from 3 p.m. until 3 a.m., with two lulls in the action -- just enough time to reload on coffee and grab a quick couple of tacos. I grossed just over $400. Before any non-cabbies rush out to the nearest cab outfit and apply, be aware that there are as many $100 nights, perhaps more, as $300+ nights.
But it feels great to hit a big one.
The three rides I remember as interesting (I was too busy to update from the streets) were Gollum, a regular customer from a dive bar, and a drunk couple from a bar just down the road.
Gollum
Gollum is a regular -- an 80-year-old lady who looks like the Gollum creature from The Lord of the Rings, and she walks and talks like Gollum. It's always a tough ride because she's very needy. I help her as best I can, but I'm never happy about it. She uses a walker (look, I hate complaining about old people, but they are my bane), and takes about seven hours to get from the grocery store exit to the door of the cab. Then I have to load her groceries, stow her walker, and listen to her complain about everything under the sun.
When we got to her house all of the stuff I loaded had to be unloaded, and then I had to take her key and open the front door. I had never done that before. She wanted the groceries placed just inside, and eventually she'd make the slow journey from the car to the house. When I opened the door I was knocked over by the smell of rotting garbage. The gag reflex kicked in, and it took all my strength of will to keep from ralphing. It was awful. I took a quick peek inside, and it's a garbage house! I didn't see any actual garbage -- more like piles of papers and boxes everywhere. There was a skinny little aisle winding its way to the interior. I recoiled in horror. She saw the look on my face and said quickly: "I have somebody coming on Monday to straighten up the house."
That was a lie. Nobody had cleaned up the house in ten years or more. What are the odds a cleaning crew is coming over just about the time a stranger looks inside? Should I call somebody? I read some paramedic blogs (see my sidebar), and I sometimes hear about houses like this. Will she end up dying there, unable to summon help, surrounded by piles of junk? If I call the city, they might condemn the place, and then where would she be? I guess I'll do nothing, but it almost seems that something should be done.
Solo guy
I've driven the solo guy twice before, and his M.O. is to be too drunk to form words. He has been able to spit out his address, so I got him home the first two times, but on each of those events, he paid the exact fare, followed by, "I'm usually a great tipper, but I'm short tonight. I'll make it up to you next time." Yeah, right. I've heard that before. People seem to enjoy saying they're usually a nice person, but tonight I'm going to fuck you over.
Tonight I was shocked to see him sober. He said he had a date with a nice woman who lives near him, and after they concluded their evening, he went straight for the bar. He said the date went well, and they will be going out again. I wonder if she knows her new man is a raging alcoholic? She'll find out sooner or later, probably the hard way, after she develops feelings for him.
The fare tonight was $14, and the guy gave me $20. He said: "When I'm drunk I probably don't tip much, but I always try to make up for it when I'm sober. Sorry if I ever shorted you." Wow. I'll put that into the record books.
Santana's
The other interesting fare were a 20-something couple -- actually, I don't think they were seeing each other, just friends -- who wanted a ride to Santana's at the edge of Hillcrest. It's Mission Hills, I think, and it's close to the Lamplighter bar. It's a $26 fare, so I was pleased. When we got there, I was happy to learn they wanted to run through the drive thru (Santana's is a Mexican place open late), and then return.
While waiting in a really long line at the drive thru, they were chatting about how much they hate bees. I chimed in: me, too. I explained that a bee caused me to crash one of my motorcycles about three years ago. I was riding along at a modest 30 mph or so with my visor up, when a bee flew into my helmet and into my ear. I flinched involuntarily, hitting the handlebars with my left hand, sending me into a large, dirt bank (I was off-road in eastern San Diego County). I flipped, rolled, and tumbled, nearly wrecking a knee and causing about $2k in damage to the bike. I only have liability on the enduro, so I had to eat the cost. Ever since, bees are my enemy, and I hunt down and kill every one I see. When the news stories broke a few weeks ago about bees disappearing en masse, I was secretly overjoyed. My customers liked the story, but my knee throbbed while I was telling it.
When all was said and done, the fare, plus tip, was $60. A great ride, with great passengers, and I got a free burrito and a Coke from Santana's. It was a nice way to end the evening.
But it feels great to hit a big one.
The three rides I remember as interesting (I was too busy to update from the streets) were Gollum, a regular customer from a dive bar, and a drunk couple from a bar just down the road.
Gollum
Gollum is a regular -- an 80-year-old lady who looks like the Gollum creature from The Lord of the Rings, and she walks and talks like Gollum. It's always a tough ride because she's very needy. I help her as best I can, but I'm never happy about it. She uses a walker (look, I hate complaining about old people, but they are my bane), and takes about seven hours to get from the grocery store exit to the door of the cab. Then I have to load her groceries, stow her walker, and listen to her complain about everything under the sun.
When we got to her house all of the stuff I loaded had to be unloaded, and then I had to take her key and open the front door. I had never done that before. She wanted the groceries placed just inside, and eventually she'd make the slow journey from the car to the house. When I opened the door I was knocked over by the smell of rotting garbage. The gag reflex kicked in, and it took all my strength of will to keep from ralphing. It was awful. I took a quick peek inside, and it's a garbage house! I didn't see any actual garbage -- more like piles of papers and boxes everywhere. There was a skinny little aisle winding its way to the interior. I recoiled in horror. She saw the look on my face and said quickly: "I have somebody coming on Monday to straighten up the house."
That was a lie. Nobody had cleaned up the house in ten years or more. What are the odds a cleaning crew is coming over just about the time a stranger looks inside? Should I call somebody? I read some paramedic blogs (see my sidebar), and I sometimes hear about houses like this. Will she end up dying there, unable to summon help, surrounded by piles of junk? If I call the city, they might condemn the place, and then where would she be? I guess I'll do nothing, but it almost seems that something should be done.
Solo guy
I've driven the solo guy twice before, and his M.O. is to be too drunk to form words. He has been able to spit out his address, so I got him home the first two times, but on each of those events, he paid the exact fare, followed by, "I'm usually a great tipper, but I'm short tonight. I'll make it up to you next time." Yeah, right. I've heard that before. People seem to enjoy saying they're usually a nice person, but tonight I'm going to fuck you over.
Tonight I was shocked to see him sober. He said he had a date with a nice woman who lives near him, and after they concluded their evening, he went straight for the bar. He said the date went well, and they will be going out again. I wonder if she knows her new man is a raging alcoholic? She'll find out sooner or later, probably the hard way, after she develops feelings for him.
The fare tonight was $14, and the guy gave me $20. He said: "When I'm drunk I probably don't tip much, but I always try to make up for it when I'm sober. Sorry if I ever shorted you." Wow. I'll put that into the record books.
Santana's
The other interesting fare were a 20-something couple -- actually, I don't think they were seeing each other, just friends -- who wanted a ride to Santana's at the edge of Hillcrest. It's Mission Hills, I think, and it's close to the Lamplighter bar. It's a $26 fare, so I was pleased. When we got there, I was happy to learn they wanted to run through the drive thru (Santana's is a Mexican place open late), and then return.
While waiting in a really long line at the drive thru, they were chatting about how much they hate bees. I chimed in: me, too. I explained that a bee caused me to crash one of my motorcycles about three years ago. I was riding along at a modest 30 mph or so with my visor up, when a bee flew into my helmet and into my ear. I flinched involuntarily, hitting the handlebars with my left hand, sending me into a large, dirt bank (I was off-road in eastern San Diego County). I flipped, rolled, and tumbled, nearly wrecking a knee and causing about $2k in damage to the bike. I only have liability on the enduro, so I had to eat the cost. Ever since, bees are my enemy, and I hunt down and kill every one I see. When the news stories broke a few weeks ago about bees disappearing en masse, I was secretly overjoyed. My customers liked the story, but my knee throbbed while I was telling it.
When all was said and done, the fare, plus tip, was $60. A great ride, with great passengers, and I got a free burrito and a Coke from Santana's. It was a nice way to end the evening.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Avoiding Marzetti II
One of our drivers is doing battle with Marzetti II, the old fogey who gets on everyone's nerves (see this post for info on him). When this driver is unfortunate enough to get him, he leaves the right rear window down and turns off the global window switch.
Apparently Marzetti II swears up a storm. He can't handle the wind blowing on him. The driver tells him the window is broken and can't be raised. It took two trips before Marzetti II took note of the cab No. and, when he calls our HQ for a taxi, he's now saying he'll ride in any car except that one. The driver is a little worried he'll call the owner, but if that happens he'll just say the window is intermittant. When/if they call him in to get it fixed, they won't find anything wrong with it. Heads will be scratched, and he'll get off without too much trouble.
Now that I think of it... Yeah, my windows are giving me trouble, too. So is the trunk, for that matter, and anything else to get me out of driving Marzetti II.
Looking into my crystal ball, I can see the future clearly. Over the course of a month, word will get around, and everyone's windows will stop functioning, mysteriously, when Marzetti II needs a ride. The cab company owner will put it together and get on the two-way radio to announce that all drivers will be picking him up or face dire consequences. I've seen this kind of thing before. Something similar happened with Reed.
The Dead Pool
As a side note, Marzetti II has to be in his 90s, and he's in poor health. A couple of weeks ago I started a dead pool on him, and we presently have five drivers with a guess recorded as to the date of the man's death. This is morbid, and perhaps sick, and that's just the way it is. One driver, when I approached him with my little spiral notebook and pen, said he wouldn't be part of something like that. I explained that he wouldn't have to put money in if he didn't want to. It could be "just for fun", and that way he might avoid a trip to Hell. He still refused.
Gollum has been added to the list, as well. Even though Gollum has a full, four-point walker and moves at .0001 mph (I can read about six pages of a novel in the time it takes her to get from the front door to the curb), most have her hanging on for another two to three years. (More on Gollum here and here.)
Apparently Marzetti II swears up a storm. He can't handle the wind blowing on him. The driver tells him the window is broken and can't be raised. It took two trips before Marzetti II took note of the cab No. and, when he calls our HQ for a taxi, he's now saying he'll ride in any car except that one. The driver is a little worried he'll call the owner, but if that happens he'll just say the window is intermittant. When/if they call him in to get it fixed, they won't find anything wrong with it. Heads will be scratched, and he'll get off without too much trouble.
Now that I think of it... Yeah, my windows are giving me trouble, too. So is the trunk, for that matter, and anything else to get me out of driving Marzetti II.
Looking into my crystal ball, I can see the future clearly. Over the course of a month, word will get around, and everyone's windows will stop functioning, mysteriously, when Marzetti II needs a ride. The cab company owner will put it together and get on the two-way radio to announce that all drivers will be picking him up or face dire consequences. I've seen this kind of thing before. Something similar happened with Reed.
The Dead Pool
As a side note, Marzetti II has to be in his 90s, and he's in poor health. A couple of weeks ago I started a dead pool on him, and we presently have five drivers with a guess recorded as to the date of the man's death. This is morbid, and perhaps sick, and that's just the way it is. One driver, when I approached him with my little spiral notebook and pen, said he wouldn't be part of something like that. I explained that he wouldn't have to put money in if he didn't want to. It could be "just for fun", and that way he might avoid a trip to Hell. He still refused.
Gollum has been added to the list, as well. Even though Gollum has a full, four-point walker and moves at .0001 mph (I can read about six pages of a novel in the time it takes her to get from the front door to the curb), most have her hanging on for another two to three years. (More on Gollum here and here.)
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Tough beginning
I got Gollum again from a grocery store to her garbage house. It took a half hour, altogether, and I got a total of $4. The fare was $3.60, plus a $.40 tip. I guess she thought that was adequate for folding and storing her walker, plus groceries, then retrieving everything from the car, then carrying everything up to the garbage house. This time when I unlocked it for her, I pushed the door open and backpedaled quickly, so as not to gag on the awful stench.
My 2nd ride of the afternoon involved a pickup at a local high school, where an elderly lady wasn't anywhere near where she claimed to be. After wasting 10 minutes, I found her. It took about five minutes for her to get seated in my car, just as a loudspeaker from the track and field area of the highschool announced that commencement was over. She said: "Oh, my. I don't need a cab, then." So she got out in a record-setting four minutes. Before she had the door closed, a do-gooder citizen walked up to her and asked if she was waiting for the kids, which she was. "Well, everyone's going to the auditorium over there. You may want to get dropped off over there." Then a big conversation ensued about whether she was getting dropped off or picked up. In the middle of this I announced that I needed to move on to paying customers. The do-gooder got snooty. The auditorium was about 100 yards away, and my elderly customer had been talked into taking the cab.
Just as she got re-seated in the car, four minutes later, a guy and two high school kids walked up. It was her son and grand children. The guy was an ass to her. "Where are you going? What are you doing?" Then he walked up to the driver window and stared at me. I looked at the lady and repeated that I had to go. Finally I left, with no passengers and no money. Fucking idiots.
Ride No. 3 was from another grocery store going about four blocks. It was another $4 fare. This one had about five bags of groceries and they needed to be lugged up a very long flight of stairs. She gave me $10. Quiz time: was this passenger over 60, or under? If you guessed under, give yourself a gold star. The over 60 crowd thinks a $.20 or $.40 tip is adequate for not only driving them, but hauling their stuff. Note to self: never will I be become an out-of-touch asshole when I hit the golden years. Arthritis and bad eyesight and whatever other ailments are not good reasons to treat people like dirt.
Five minutes after I dropped her off she called the cab company and said she left some groceries in my trunk. That was not true, which I explained to the dispatcher. They came back with: "She's insistent." My reply: "Insistence doesn't miraculously put something in my trunk that isn't there."
After that, a lady flagged me down:
Her: How much to the Hyatt?
Me: $7
Her: $7?
Me: Yes, $7.
Her: How far is it?
Me: A mile and a half.
Her: And it's $7 to go a mile and a half?
Me: Yes.
Her: How much is the bus?
Me: I don't know.
Her: Do you know where the bus stop is?
Me: No.
After deciding $7 was out of her price range, she exited the cab.
I decided that if I get one more idiot local who thinks cab drivers should be carrying groceries or otherwise jerked around, I'm leaving. Fortunately, the next few rides were worth the effort. I'm still out here, but any more moronic locals and I'm going home to do something worthwhile. Thank goodness I have a job I can abandon as soon as I'm not enjoying it!
My 2nd ride of the afternoon involved a pickup at a local high school, where an elderly lady wasn't anywhere near where she claimed to be. After wasting 10 minutes, I found her. It took about five minutes for her to get seated in my car, just as a loudspeaker from the track and field area of the highschool announced that commencement was over. She said: "Oh, my. I don't need a cab, then." So she got out in a record-setting four minutes. Before she had the door closed, a do-gooder citizen walked up to her and asked if she was waiting for the kids, which she was. "Well, everyone's going to the auditorium over there. You may want to get dropped off over there." Then a big conversation ensued about whether she was getting dropped off or picked up. In the middle of this I announced that I needed to move on to paying customers. The do-gooder got snooty. The auditorium was about 100 yards away, and my elderly customer had been talked into taking the cab.
Just as she got re-seated in the car, four minutes later, a guy and two high school kids walked up. It was her son and grand children. The guy was an ass to her. "Where are you going? What are you doing?" Then he walked up to the driver window and stared at me. I looked at the lady and repeated that I had to go. Finally I left, with no passengers and no money. Fucking idiots.
Ride No. 3 was from another grocery store going about four blocks. It was another $4 fare. This one had about five bags of groceries and they needed to be lugged up a very long flight of stairs. She gave me $10. Quiz time: was this passenger over 60, or under? If you guessed under, give yourself a gold star. The over 60 crowd thinks a $.20 or $.40 tip is adequate for not only driving them, but hauling their stuff. Note to self: never will I be become an out-of-touch asshole when I hit the golden years. Arthritis and bad eyesight and whatever other ailments are not good reasons to treat people like dirt.
Five minutes after I dropped her off she called the cab company and said she left some groceries in my trunk. That was not true, which I explained to the dispatcher. They came back with: "She's insistent." My reply: "Insistence doesn't miraculously put something in my trunk that isn't there."
After that, a lady flagged me down:
Her: How much to the Hyatt?
Me: $7
Her: $7?
Me: Yes, $7.
Her: How far is it?
Me: A mile and a half.
Her: And it's $7 to go a mile and a half?
Me: Yes.
Her: How much is the bus?
Me: I don't know.
Her: Do you know where the bus stop is?
Me: No.
After deciding $7 was out of her price range, she exited the cab.
I decided that if I get one more idiot local who thinks cab drivers should be carrying groceries or otherwise jerked around, I'm leaving. Fortunately, the next few rides were worth the effort. I'm still out here, but any more moronic locals and I'm going home to do something worthwhile. Thank goodness I have a job I can abandon as soon as I'm not enjoying it!
