Thursday, July 10, 2008

Dodged a huge bullet

Tony is leaving for six months, which he does every year, and his son isn't replacing him for those months. That probably means nothing to you, but it's everything to cab drivers in my area.

Here's the deal: Tony is actually a fat Polish guy, maybe 50 years of age. He's a really nice guy, and I love talking to him. Tony is his "American name", I don't know what he's called in his native Poland. Anyway, Tony does what many drivers do when they get behind the wheel of a cab -- he turns into a dishonest bastard. Behind his back, we refer to Tony as The Fat Bastard. He's also fat. A while back he got us permanently kicked out of a hotel because of his gluttony. We used to go into that hotel to use the lobby restroom, and The Fat Bastard would help himself to all kinds of Danish and rolls from the free table on his way out. Eventually the desk clerks figured out he was a cab driver, and not a hotel guest. They called the cab company owner and announced that no cab drivers were allowed inside that hotel again.

His son is not fat, but he's 10 times worse than him as far as stealing rides and lying on the radio go. In fact, only Ana is worse than his son.

Now, Tony and his dishonest boy work in 6-month shifts. Tony will work 15 hrs/day for six months, banking cash, then go back to Poland and relax and live the life of Reilly. While he's gone, his boy works for six months, and so on.

This time around, when Tony arrived six months ago, he announced that the Little Bastard wouldn't be coming over to the U.S. anymore. He's finishing a degree at a university in Poland, and then he's going to find a job there. We were elated, but I was too polite to say so in front of Tony.

Then, two weeks ago, Tony announced to a group of drivers, including yours truly, that his son had changed his mind and would be coming in July to work for six months. "Great," I lied. "I can't wait."

Today Tony announced that the cab company owner told his son there are no cars available. This may be true, but it may be that the owner knows what an ass the boy is, and telling him there are no cars for him is an easy way to get rid of him. I put on a really good show for Tony: "Oh, that's a shame. I was really looking forward to working with your son again."

When Tony got belled off the cab stand, we practically high-fived each other with glee that the son would not be ripping us off this year.


roy said...

we have 1000's of Tonys here

flex said...

Hoping you can help me dodge my own bullet - I lost a heirloom ring in a cab we took from 4th & University to the Zoo on Sunday around 1:30 pm. We believe the cab was blue or at least part blue. The ring has more sentimental value than monetary value. I can't find a company that says they have cabs that match description. Offering reward to get ring back. Think you can help?

Brent McD. said...

no Comic-Con stories?

Anonymous said...

Where ya at Cabbie? We need a lift for our dreary day :( :)

Ted Martin said...


4th & U is not our pickup zone, so it probably wasn't one of ours. Our guys occasionally do some wildcatting, so I'll ask the drivers of each blue car (we have two, and they're deep blue). I'll post something here when I find out.

Brent and Nio,

I'm only publishing every other week or so. I have no internet at home or in the car right now! I'm working on getting back up to speed, but for now I'm taking notes in the cab and then putting up a bunch of posts at once.

I do have one comic-con story coming up soon.

I'm also behind in reading my favorite blogs (Brent!). When I get my own connections back online, I'm looking forward to catching up with everything that's going on.