Frankenstein

We have a new driver who has already been nicknamed Frankenstein. He's from eastern Europe, with a strong accent, and he's obese with a glistening, bald head. He looks and sounds the part. A few drivers have been imitating him on the radio, to the dismay of dispatchers.

I'm in on the joke, but I also did what I always do for new drivers: I told him to call me for directions, anytime. Many veteran drivers deliberately give bad direction to n00bs, hoping they'll get frustrated and quit. Fewer drivers, after all, is more money for the rest. "Frankenstein" turned out to be a very nice guy. He's from eastern Poland and even though he only knows a little English, he can make a decent joke. In front of a group of drivers standing beside the lead car on a cab stand a few nights ago, he told a joke about a camel that had to be jerked off once for every 100 miles traveled. When he finished (heh), I told him that he was already turning into a fine cab driver.