Thursday, April 17, 2008

Reed is not Rainman

I drove Reed tonight, and finally decided to ask him if the rumors about him are true. Is he the Rainman? Several drivers have said he used to work at the Navy as a cryptanalyst. Since he's dimwitted, the assumption is he's some kind of idiot savant. A previous post about Reed is here.

Me: You used to work for the Navy, right?

Him: For 25 years.

Me: You worked on computers? I'm just curious.

Him: Yeah, I was a data processor.

Me: Were you a cryptanalyst? A codebreaker?

Him: No, I was a computer operator.

Damn. I was hoping to take him to Vegas to count cards. I would even take Amtrak! Wapner at 7.

The bad part of driving Reed, which I've complained about before, is that he pretends he can't walk without "assistance." I've seen him walk just fine. It's a ploy for attention. I've been trying to get him to buy a cane for a long time, and while he's "thinking about it," he never actually gets one. Maybe he'll get one for Christmas -- we talked about taking up a collection among drivers last time around. They only cost $20.

Last night on the way to one of his three regular restaurants, he said he would need to stop at an ATM. This is a problem. I had already "assisted" him from his door into the cab, and made an excuse for him to sit in the back -- he's one of the weird ones who wants to sit in the front. He smells like urine, so in the back he went, complaint or no complaint. Also, his yellow fingernails are really long, and when he grabs my arm for "assistance," they dig into my skin. It's revolting. To make a long story short, I couldn't go through that four times -- into the car at his house, x2 for the ATM, and then out of the car and into the restaurant.

Also, I actually do take credit cards now, including ATM cards, but I didn't want his stench in the car any longer than necessary -- it takes a couple of minutes to hand write the credit card slip.

Me: You know, Reed, I've been driving you for years now. You're a good customer. This one's on me. We can skip the ATM.

Him: Thank you very much. That's very kind of you.

Me: Don't mention it.


Brent McD. said...

i've got a (almost) brand-new cane the hospital gave me for my knee surgery last month. i'd be happy to donate it for reed

Ted Martin said...

That's kind of you to offer. I wonder if he'd use it? I believe he doesn't need to lean on the drivers or use a cane. He just wants attention.

If he had a cane, though, he wouldn't have an excuse to lean on us.