A new market for idiots

I may have developed something new in the taxi trade. We have a number of bad customers -- okay, I'll say it, they're idiots who should be smacked in the head -- and we cabbies are always getting creative in our efforts to avoid them. I've chronicled a lot of the games we play on the blog -- stuff like keeping track of their movements to make sure we're somewhere else when they're about to call, or claiming we have a flag or a flat tire just to get out of driving them.

My new idea involved Reed, who most of us call Rat Claw on account of his half-inch-long fingernails and slovenly appearance. I was first on the cab stand nearest the restaurant he dines at on Friday nights (this was last Friday), and I was watching the time. I know he usually calls HQ for a taxi around 10:15 p.m., and it was 10:05. Being first, I was unwilling to give up first place in line, but I was considering vacating anyway, just to avoid him. Some things are more important than money!

Before I could decide, I got the bell on the radio. I complained loudly, and several drivers offered their condolences, in person on the stand, and a couple made funny comments on the radio. "What are you going to do with all that money?" Reed's rides are $5.60, and he usually tries to pay $5. I offered to pay the next guy in line to take him, and he took Reed off my hands for $5! I was willing to go to $10, but I didn't have to. He thought he was getting a good deal (I guess he's flat broke and desperate for money), and so did I. I explained to the dispatcher that the next guy offered to take him, and please keep me first in line for bells. No problems there.

Several drivers have now purchased idiots from me. I'll pay hard cash to avoid an awful stench, wandering and incoherent conversation, or a really short ride. It's worth the money, especially if I don't lose my place in line.