Thursday, July 31, 2008

Reed and my new roommate

Last Feb 1 I got a new roommate, making what turned out to be a mistake -- the guy's a cab driver! I'll call him Carl. We both drive for the same company, and while the roomie is known for being honest (sets both of us apart on the streets), he is turning out to be a disappointing roommate. Carl, you see, is a raging, out-of-control boozer. An oiler. A drunk. A dumbass. Plus he hires hookers almost every night. His normal routine is to work five or six hours, then go to a strip club and get smashed, and hire a hooker which he says costs $300. He says he's been going to the same strip club for many years, and he knows everyone, and the girls are for hire if they know and trust you. I won't name the club.

Fortunately, he never brings the women home. On second thought...

As a good Libertarian (I'm a practical libertarian), I don't mind what sort of hobbies he enjoys, as long as they don't have a negative impact on me. Sure enough, he has never been on time with the rent, and he usually begs money from me to pay his cab lease. July 1 was the last time for being late. Not only did he make me a promise, I promised myself I'd throw him out if it happens again. I cut off the revolving credit account when he was into me for $450. If a person is borrowing money from me, he's in rough shape.

Did I mention I had a financial crisis late last year? I've been working an average of nine hours per day, six days a week all year, and for the last three weeks I've worked 10 hours per day, seven days per week to save money for the slow times this winter. Meanwhile good ole Carl lives like he's on vacation, spending all kinds of money on hookers and tequila, while borrowing money from me to pay rent and cab lease. Anger doesn't begin to describe how I feel about Carl.

We were extremely busy in June, and most cabbies were flush with cash. I heard one guy say he saved $3000 that month alone. I myself banked $2000. Carl couldn't pay rent at the end of June. He left me a note that said something to the effect of, "Sorry about being short on rent." Now, for July, it has been slower, and he has been leaving work even earlier every night.

This situation called for a pool, and when I presented the question to drivers (everyone knows he's an oiler and that he goes to the strip club every night), everyone agreed that he wouldn't have rent on time for Aug 1. Not much of a pool when everyone agrees!

It just so happens that Carl has personalized Reed, a peculiar little man I've written about in the past. Personalizing means the customer either calls your cellphone directly, or calls the office and requests you by name and/or car number. Old Reed, as I've mentioned previously, goes to one of three restaurants every night of the week, and because Carl leaves early, one of us gets stuck driving him home. I sometimes chide the roommate when he announces he's leaving for the night. "Hey, you can't leave yet. Reed hasn't gone home!"

Two nights ago I was unlucky and got the Reed bell (or Ratclaw or Rainman, as we like to call him). After helping him to the cab, as he pretended to have trouble walking, he mentioned that my roommate must have gone home early (he learned this when he called the office and requested him).

On a whim, I filled him in on the situation:

    Me: Well, Reed, he leaves early every night to get a hooker and get drunk off his ass.

    Him: He does?

    Me: Yes, he does. He usually can't pay the rent because the strip club gets all the money. Ask him about it some time.

I haven't heard anything back yet, but if old Reed's mental faculties are strong enough, which is a 50/50 proposition because he's an idiot, he'll mention it. I wonder if Carl will consider it a joke, or get mad? It's not like his hobbies are a secret. After all, he blabbed all over the streets that when his mother passed away three years ago he received a $250k inheritance -- and within a year it was all gone. He admits he drank it away, and what he didn't drink went to prostitutes. "It was a great year," he likes to muse. No shit it was a good year, drinking and carousing $250k down the drain. He could have bought income property, he could have bought CDs or blue chip stocks. Nope, not this dumbass. Tequila and hookers.

I suspect he'll be late for August rent, and, because I'm an extremely nice guy, I'm giving him two months to get out.

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